See who will makes the playoffs and which team will hoist the Lombardi Trophy on February 3, 2019.Jokes aside, this is how I see the playoff picture shaping up. Read the entire article to get my breakdown of each team and division predictions.

NFC

NFC East Champion: Eagles

NFC West Champion: Rams

NFC South Champion: Falcons

NFC North Champion: Vikings(ugh)

NFC Wild Card: Packers

NFC Wild Card: 49ers

Listen, the Eagles improved a roster that won the Super Bowl last year. Michael Bennett should make their already incredible defensive line even better. The Rams are probably the second most talented team in the NFL right now. They don’t have a great deal of depth, but their high-end talent is better than any other team’s, including Philly. The Falcons have the fastest defense I’ve ever seen. Keanu Neal, Deion Jones, Grady Jarrett, and Vic Beasley make up a great core group across the defense. For the Niners, I’m really just betting on Jimmy G. Their defense has some nice pieces (looking at you Deforest Buckner and Reuben Foster), but at the end of the day, this team is going to live and die on the right arm of Gucci Garoppollo. As for Green Bay, if Aaron Rodgers stays healthy and their young corners play up to their talent level and learn quickly on the job, this could be a dangerous Wild Card team.

AFC
AFC East: Dolphins (HA, just kidding, it’s the Patriots)

AFC West: Chargers

AFC South: Jaguars

AFC North: Steelers

AFC Wild Card: Texans

AFC Wild Card: Browns

I wonder if anyone has picked anyone other than New England to win the East. For their sake, I hope not. This team is going to be good because they’ve been good for the last 18 years, don’t overthink it. They have either the best or 2^nd best (I’m partial to A-Rod) quarterback in the league and their defense has some young studs, hello Trey Flowers. The Chargers need to start praying to whoever the Football God is, because right now, they have a great roster that is being decimated by injuries for the 300^th year in a row. It’s ok, the 10 fans at their stadium won’t be too sad after Keenan Allen goes down… again. As for his fantasy owners… that’s a different story. The Jaguars have the best defense in the league and maybe the worst quarterback. Rough combination that limits their ceiling but should allow them to win a pretty deep division. The Steelers should have an electric offense with a terrible secondary, which again, limits their ceiling but should allow them to emerge out of the yearly slugfest that is the AFC North. For Houston, two words. Deshaun. Watson. Ok, here’s two more words. J.J. Watt. That’s all you need to say about them. Last team here, the always interesting, always disappointing, and somehow intriguing, Cleveland Browns. If this pans out, I’ll look like a genius. If not, well, that’s a bit of an issue.

NFC Champion: Vikings (ughhhhhh)

AFC Champion: Chargers (please don’t get hurt)

Super Bowl Champion: Chargers (Kirk Cousins better not win a Super Bowl)

AFC East

1. New England Patriots: What can you say about the Patriots that hasn’t been said. Their quarterback drinks the blood of unicorns to stay young and their head coach has the aura of a very dull evil genius. Sure, they have no receivers, no bell-cow running back, and a shaky secondary, but it’s the Patriots. They’ll find a way to make Philip Dorsett into a 1,000-yard receiver because that’s exactly what they do.
2. Miami Dolphins: Adam Gase can be a good coach. He has issues with players in the locker room and he gave up Jay Ajayi and Jarvis Landry for essentially nothing because of that. Their defense should be improved with the additions of Robert Quinn. Now, Kiko Alonso is terrible and has gotten torched regularly in coverage. Ryan Tannehill is always one year away from being one year away from being a top 10 quarterback and he’s shown very little to prove he can take this team anywhere. This is a big year for him, if he gets where a lot of people thought he would be, he’s going to stay a starting quarterback. If not, he’ll become the next Josh McCown.
3. New York Jets: Speaking of McCown, who’s currently on his 765^th team in the NFL, the Jets might actually have a quarterback! It’s been rough for Jets fans. They rooted for the brief spark that Mark Sanchez provided, before the Butt Fumble sent him to NFL meme hell for the rest of time. Then they had Geno Smith and Christian Hackenberg, two second-rounders who have done absolutely nothing good in this league. Now, they get Sam Darnold, a gunslinger with a smooth tan and curly dark brown locks who graduated from USC. *Looks up Mark Sanchez*… oh no… keep Darnold away from any lineman’s rear ends.
4. Buffalo Bills: Josh Allen is the quarterback of the future in Buffalo and he’s well equipped for the job. He’s tall and can throw the ball a country mile from his knees. Now, whether he can make reads or throw the ball with any sort of accuracy has not yet been determined. Combining his inexperience and need for seasoning with the dismal state of the Bills offensive line, their best chance at winning football games probably comes from one of the other quarterbacks on the roster. *Checks Bills QB depth chart, sees Nathan Peterman, closes depth chart and lights multiple prayer candle for Josh Allen*.

AFC West

1. Los Angeles Chargers: This team is going to play in a stadium that’s worse than some of the stadiums you’ll see in Texas High Schools. They don’t have a real fan base anymore, their home games often have more fans of the opposing teams than Chargers fans. But oh my god, this team has so much talent if they could just put it together and avoid the injury bug that’s plagued them for the last… century or so. Every Chargers fan, the dozens of them that still exist, should pray to the football god that this team can stay healthy because when they are they’re Super Bo… Hunter Henry and Jason Verret are already both out for the year… some things never change. This roster is deep enough that they can probably squeak out a division title but their championship hopes are mostly gone.
2. Kansas City Chiefs: Well Chiefs fans, you got what you wanted. You didn’t want the uber efficient game manager and instead wanted the exciting young gunslinger. You got a better nickel corner from Washington in Kendall Fuller, a trade every Redskins fan has forgotten about but should still remember. But let’s get back to this gunslinger. Pat Mahomes can throw the ball 70 yards in the air. That’s not an exaggeration, he can actually do that. He’s raw, extremely raw. He’s going to make mistakes. And part of me feels that halfway through the year, when the Chiefs aren’t doing too well, the same fans that booed Alex Smith are going to wish he was throwing checkdown passes and managing games well.
3. Denver Broncos: Is Case Keenum actually good? I genuinely don’t know the answer. He had that good year last year but other than that, it’s been average at best. I feel like he’s a big candidate for regression and if he does come back to earth this year, the Broncos aren’t going to be able to do much. Now, they won a Super Bowl with a 70-year-old Peyton Manning who could throw the ball about 10 yards down the field because of a great defense and they have the pass rushing to replicate that. A quick look at the secondary past Chris Harris Jr, however, should strike fear into the hearts of Vance Joseph and Broncos fans everywhere.
4. Oakland Raiders: Poor Jon Gruden. It’s his first year and he’s trying to send messages to the locker room. How does he do that? He trades away the best player on his team and arguably the best defensive player in the entire NFL. In a truly stunning move, Gruden traded Khalil Mack to the Bears. He then cut Martavis Bryant, who he traded a 3^rd round pick for. He finally traded a fifth rounder for AJ McCarron. In comparison, the Eagles traded a fifth rounder for Michael Bennett. It’s alright Raider fans, you only have 9 years to go on the Gruden deal.

AFC South

1. Jacksonville Jaguars: This Jacksonville defense must really hate quarterbacks. They harass them while they’re in the backfield and if they ever get a pass off, there’s a real chance it’s going to be intercepted by one of these stud defensive backs. Part of me thinks that the Jaguars’ hatred for quarterbacks stems from having to watch their own. Blake Bortles is bad. I’m sorry to all Jacksonville fans that are reading this. You guys have a top 5 roster in the NFL but your quarterback is B-A-D. He’s managed in a way that a rookie is except… this is his fifth year.
2. Houston Texans: YES! YES! YES! DESHAUN WATSON IS BACK! SO IS J.J. WATT! THEY MIGHT NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS BUT THIS TEAM IS GOING TO BE SO FUN IS WATSON IS BACK FROM HIS ACL INJURY GOD PLEASE LET HIM BE 100% BACK AND NOT RG3 2.0! PLEASE! WE NEED GOOD THINGS IN THE NFL NOW MORE THAN EVER. Side note, the Texans defense is extremely underrated right now, that front 7 is oozing with talent.
3. Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota needs to be better. He hasn’t been as good as he was hyped up to be before the draft. Part of that is that he has been in a 1950’s offense that Mike Mularkey tried to repackage and sell as “exotic smashmouth”. What in the world does that even mean? The Titans didn’t know, and neither did their old coach, who got fired and replaced by Mike Vrabel. Honestly, this season is about Mariota. If he’s not going to improve, it becomes a lot less appealing to be a Titans fan.
4. Indianapolis Colts: Somehow, this division, which for along time, was one of the worst in the league, now has four competitive teams. I honestly didn’t know where to put Indy, they could be anywhere. They don’t have a good roster, but now they have Andrew Luck back, and when he’s healthy, he’s enough to take the Colts to the playoffs. I don’t know how good Luck is going to be behind an offensive line that’s getting better, but still not good, and surrounded by a receiving corps that doesn’t have a solid second option. Honestly, it’s just nice to see that Luck isn’t still getting treatments from some doctor in Europe and is instead actually… you know… playing football.

AFC North

1. Steelers

Antonio Brown, Le’Veon Bell, and Ben Roethilisberger. Need I say anymore?

2. Browns

I’m hitching myself to the Browns Bandwagon. Myles Garrett is an actual monster. I would be peeing my pants if I was forced to line up against him. He looks like he            was sculpted by a Greek god. There’s talent on this defense. But, if Hard Knocks has shown us anything, it’s that this coaching staff is incompetent beyond belief.                    Gregg Williams somehow decides to line up his safeties 75 yards away from the ball and Hue Jackson can’t stop saying phrases that only work on high school football            players. Talent should get the Browns this year, at least more than the they had  last year.

3. Ravens

The fact that Joe Flacco still has a job astounds me. He’s not good. He’s not average. He’s bad. He doesn’t throw the ball down the field, partly because his receivers               can’t run or catch, but partly because Flacco can’t throw the ball accurately. So, let’s get this straight, they have a passing game that can’t throw, catch, or run. That’s a           bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it works out for them.

4. Bengals

Marvin Lewis bores me. Andy Dalton bores me. AJ Green and John Ross are intriguing, as is Joe Mixon. Their defense is largely without talent, except for Geno                     Atkins, who’s basically the meaner version of Godzilla. They won’t be good, and hopefully, that’ll get Marvin Lewis to retire.

NFC East (WARNING: HIGH BIAS LEVELS AHEAD):

1. Washington Redskins: HEY STOP LAUGHING. IT’S POSSIBLE! I’m definitely a homer but there is more than just pure love here. The NFC East hasn’t seen a repeat champion in over a decade. The Redskins have a better quarterback than last year, a much better defensive line, and have basically stayed the same at the other positions. There are holes but if some games break the right way and some luck goes the ‘Skins way… I’m crazy but I believe.
2. Philadelphia Eagles: It was a pretty quiet offseason for the defending champions, except for the fact that they added one of the best defensive lineman in the league for a fifth-round draft pick, replaced Torrey Smith with a cheaper and better version in Mike Wallace, and drafted an electric tight end in Dallas Goedert. *Checks Eagles Defensive Line Depth Chart, immediately regrets picking the ‘Skins*.
3. New York Giants: Eli Manning might actually be… good? He might have a 2014 Tony Romo season, where he relies on Saquon Barkley and does the absolute least amount of throwing necessary. This offense should be incredible, with a healthy OBJ, Sterling Shepard, and Evan Engram, Eli should be licking his lips in anticipation. On defense, it’s a different story. Their linebackers suck. Alec Ogletree was a terrible acquisition, purely because he isn’t a good player. There’s also the issue that the defense seems to hate everyone, including their own teammates.
4. Dallas Cowboys: I hate the Cowboys. I hate Dak Prescott. I hate Zeke. I hate their coach, Jason Garrett. I especially hate Jerry Jones. I am happy and proud to say I think the Cowboys going to be absolutely terrible this year.

NFC West:

1. Los Angeles Rams: Hey Sean, if you ever wanted to come take a job as head coach down here at Redskins Park, I think there would be a great spot for you here. Speaking frankly, McVay has done a great job as a coach so far, but he faces a challenge this year. He’s got a lot of personalities to manage, Marcus Peters, Ndamukong Suh, and Aqib Talib are now Rams, but they’re still players who have had concerns raised about attitude and mindset. If McVay can handle that, he’s got so much starpower on this team, one that could easily be a Super Bowl Champ.
2. San Francisco 49ers: All praise the lord and savior of Bay Area, Kyle Shanahan. Oh, and please don’t forget about his loyal messenger, Jimmy Gucci Garoppolo. After he went 5-0 to close last season, people have tripped over themselves to anoint these two as God, Jesus, and everything in between. There’s a real chance he is the real deal, I personally think so, but I will also call for some caution. Kids, if you’re reading this at home, that’s what they call hedging your bet. The Niners are praying and hoping that their quarterback is the real deal or else John Lynch is going to be begging for his next meal.
3. Arizona Cardinals: I think Larry Fitzgerald is drinking some of the same juice Tom Brady is. Every year in fantasy, I seem to have the chance to pick Fitz and ever year, I tell myself, “what if this year is the year that he drops off because of age”. I then pass on him and by the end of the year, he’s turned in another incredible season and I am sitting at 10^th/12^th in my fantasy league. Just kidding, won my league last year, *shrugs off shoulder*.
4. Seattle Seahawks: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I find it funny how far the mighty have fallen. Ever since 2012, where the Seahawks destroyed any hope I had of watching a Redskins Super Bowl before I graduated college, I have harbored a grudge against them. Is it fair? No. Is it right? Definitely not. Do I feel happiness at their misery? You betcha. Have fun with the rain and your Super Bowl… ugh.

NFC South:

1. Atlanta Falcons: 28-3. Ok, now that was a bit of a low blow. This might be one of the more talented rosters in the league. From top to bottom, there’s an abundance of skill at almost every position. 28-3. Sorry, they beat the Redskins on a walk off pick-6 OT in 2015. I feel anger towards them, anger I should not feel.
2. Carolina Panthers: The Panthers have Cam Newton. He is BIG. He is strong. He is good. People like to say he’s not that good. Those people are wrong. Do not listen to those people. Those people do not understand that this man is big, strong, and makes some of the most physically incredible plays you’ll ever see on a football field. As for the rest of this roster, it’s a bit weak. The offensive line in particular, is not in great shape. Poor Cam Newton, he’s going to be running for his life back there.
3. New Orleans Saints: Oh man, Alvin Kamara is so good. He’s so good I’m willing to forgive him for beating the Redskins on a fluke(it wasn’t a fluke) play that wasn’t anything other than lucky (it was one of the most skillful plays you’ll see). Their defense is going to be better, Marshon Lattimore is already one of the best corners in football and despite his playoff mishap, Marcus Williams is going to be a really good safety. In other words, this team is a great team in one of the best divisions in football and this is going to be a bloodbath that could go until week 17.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: This is a boring team. I don’t want to talk too much about them. I don’t think you want to read too much about them. To be honest, I’m not sure Buccaneers fans want to read about their team either.

NFC North:

1. Green Bay Packers: Now, remember how excited I was about Deshaun Watson? Multiply that by 1000000000000000 and that’s how excited I am for Aaron Rodgers. Fully healthy and equipped with a brand new toy in Jimmy Graham, Rodgers is going to ball out this year. The Packers improved their secondary with two young corners in Jaire Alexander and Josh Jackson. They are going to be good. They might not be great this year but hopefully they learn on the job because Aaron Rodgers needs to get back to the big game and hopefully win one more.
2. Chicago Bears: One man’s trash decision, is another man’s treasure. Jon Gruden’s trash decision is Ryan Pace’s treasure. Khalil Mack is a beast. Lining him up on the opposite side of a promising young stud in Leonard Floyd is going to make the Bears good. How good they’re going to be really depends on one other player, Mitchell Trubisky. Trubisky has some new weapons in Allen Robinson, Anthony Miller, and Trey Burton. Like in many other teams in the league, his development is the key to the Bears future.
3. Detroit Lions: I like this team. I don’t really know why. Matthew Stafford has been a good quarterback for a while but has not really won much of anything since he was drafted. That’s why Matt Patricia is here. He brings the winning culture from New England. *Checks other Patriots assistants who became head coaches, sees Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini, Charlie Weis, and Josh McDaniels names*, chalks up another 8-8 season for the Lions.
4. Minnesota Vikings: I will always hate Kirk Cousins. I am actively rooting for him to crash and burn. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Have I lessened the intensity of my hatred at all since he signed? Definitely not. That’s all I have to say about this team.